Sweet Child of Mine

I was teaching a prenatal class in Ottawa yesterday to six expectant couples. During the morning break I was sharing The Letter Writing Revolution with them. One mom-to-be asked, "Do thank you notes count?" to which I replied "Sort of but not quite." I chatted enthusiastically about my blog and about the lost art of letter writing. I asked if any of them had every written love letters to their partners and in response I received some shoulder shrugging. I talked about my Letter to a Soldier post and of course, the post on Love Letters. One of the dads-to-be promptly added the url for my blog into his Blackberry and announced that he was going to write me a letter. I am expecting him to. I don't take statements about letter writing lightly.

I think that when I return next week to teach their second and final prenatal class, I am going to suggest they start a project to not only contribute to the revolution but to also enhance their relationship with their unborn child. I am going to recommend that they start by writing a love letter to their unborn baby. When I was pregnant with our daughter, I kept a pregnancy journal which kept track of the many details of those 40 weeks + 5 days that I would have otherwise forgotten.

Photo by Marlys Symingon

My husband wrote a letter to our unborn baby who we lovingly referred to as Cletus the Fetus. Here is an excerpt from that letter:

Dear Cletus;

"Okay, okay....I know that you probably think that we are pretty weird for calling you "Cletus" but it was kind of funny at first and it has become somewhat familiar over the last few months. I am writing this to you to let you know what all was going on in my life while I eagerly waited to meet you. Both you mother and I (that still sounds weird to say) have a feeling that you are a boy. It probably does not help that your nickname is a boy's name but for the record we really do not have a preference either way. For me, I really like the idea of having a son to do all of those father/son things together but I also really like the idea of Daddy's Little Girl, as well...........

.......I am not sure how I am going to be as a father but right now I am not the best at saying mushy stuff but I hope to get a little better with it as time goes on. I have never been very good at expressing myself but I will give it a valiant effort, just bear with me, okay? You haven't even arrived yet but you have turned our lives upside down. Every spare moment I am thinking of you and how much I want to meet you. All of the sudden I notice every baby and wonder what you will look like. Will you have more hair than them or be bald as a cue ball? Mind you, with the amount of heartburn your mother is having you had better have a full head of hair (it is an old wives tale). Will you be a happy baby? Will you have chubby little cheeks? Will you have your mother's stunning blue eyes? I mentioned before how deeply in love I am with your mother. I thought that it was not possible to love anyone more deeply until I heard about you. I know that it is probably a cliche but I honestly would make any sacrifice for you without any hesitation and I have not even met you yet! Anyway, I could go on forever and not get any closer to explaining how much you have brought to our lives already. I know you will teach us many things about love and life and hopefully we will teach you what it means to be loved and how to love.

So, take care, little one. We are anxiously awaiting your arrival but take your time and just come when you are ready. Know that you will be greeted by two very nervous but very loving parents that promise to always be there for you."

Love Dad

My husband with our daughter, Meredith (2004)

I may share this letter with my class and then gently encourage them to spend an evening each writing a letter to their baby.........their hopes and fears, their excitement and their wishes, what is going on in the world as they write, what their dreams are for the birth and the weeks after and of course, their feelings towards this baby that is still on the inside. Then, I am going to ask them to write a letter every year on the eve of or on a day close to their child's birth day. Imagine when the child is older and receives a box of letters that have been written over the years out of love for them......the first one being written even before they were born.

If you are expecting a baby and reading this, perhaps this is something you can consider. If you know someone who is pregnant, an interesting shower gift would be to give them a decorative box, beautiful pens and paper to begin a tradition of writing letters to their child. These letters can be given at the child's 18th birthday or graduation or for Christmas one year. As they get older, the letter can be written in the days leading up to the birthday and they can receive it as one of their gifts. This can be an annual tradition of receiving a handwritten letter from one or both of their parents. This inexpensive gift would be far more valuable then anything you could buy in a store. Guaranteed.

TLWR News of the Week

Friday has arrived in a flash and I want to share with all of you some of the cool things happening at The Letter Writing Revolution headquarters.

First off, I have been pumping out letters like a mad woman in the last couple of weeks and there are more to write today. Keep an eye on your mailboxes and you, too, will find a letter from me.....if you are a part of the Challenge. Secondly, I have not only been writing letters but receiving them as well which is like waking a dormant part of myself. I walk to our post office and get this joyful feeling when I spy an envelope that isn't a bill or junk mail. As TLWR grows, so does the number of letters I receive. It is a great bonus of being head of a revolution like this one.

The third highlight of the week was when I received an email from a blog follower who happened to come across my blog through various links. She requested a letter from me as a part of the challenge. She is following from Kentucky, USA. Very cool that the revolution is reaching places beyond my friends and relatives home addresses :-)

The fourth highlight of the week was when I checked my Blog Stats last night and discovered that in this week alone, this blog has been viewed from all over Canada and the U.S.A but also viewed from far away places like the Netherlands, Germany, Vietnam, Afghanistan and India. How awesome is that??? Maybe "my" soldier that I wrote to did receive my letter and is now checking out the blog.

And finally, last but not least, I arrived home yesterday to an email from Jen over at Pen and Prosper urging me to check out her blog post. She had chosen four bookmark-worthy blogs and TLWR was one of them! I am pretty thrilled about that as it is a huge compliment to have my blog admired by someone I have only met recently online AND to have this blog exposed to more people. Every little bit helps the revolution to grow. Thanks, Jen!

Oh, wait......one more highlight of the week........my mom just showed up with a little gift for me of a roll of Canadian stamps (60 of them!!) to help out with my letter writing. Thanks, mom!!

On that note, wherever you may be, have a wonderful weekend and find some time to write at least one letter to make someone's day! And as always, if you haven't become a follower, please do so and please also share this blog with your friends and family. Who knows? Maybe they will be inspired to write YOU a letter.

It's Friday and I Got Mail

If you're new to this Blog, please read the very first post to understand what The Letter Writing Revolution is all about: http://theletterwritingrevolution.blogspot.com/2010/06/one-of-these-days-im-gonna-sit-down-and.html

The weekend is upon us and finally a rainy day has arrived to break the extreme heat that has hit these parts in the last week. I believe it was 44 degrees Celsius with the humidity yesterday. Now, we are blessed with a slight breeze and rain...lots of rain.

I just walked to the post office to mail a love letter to a farmer. Lo and behold, I received three letters today! One of the letters was in a large bubble envelope containing a very cool cookbook. My friend, Sandra, who lives on the westcoast had been wanting to send me this cookbook for sometime. The Letter Writing Revolution prompted her to handwrite a very long and enjoyable letter which she sent with the book. Thank you, Sandra!!! I loved your letter and you will most certainly receive one back.

I LOVED the letters I received today and what they contained. I really forgot how amazing it feels to receive handwritten mail. So much more personal than an email and well, don't even get me started on texting. While I was in the post office, I chatted with our new Post Master. I told her about The Letter Writing Revolution (TLWR for short) yesterday and so we were chatting today about the loss of this wonderful art. I commented that young people today will have no real history of their life without letters. I have hundreds of journals of my life contained in the form of letters. Letters that I have written and letters that I have received over the last 30 years. Texting and email just doesn't cut it. It isn't a true connection in my books and it is fleeting. The Letter Writing Revolution has had me considering ending my Facebook account. I am tired of running into people whom I haven't seen in a decade who know all about my life. When I look confused they smile and say, "I read it on Facebook." It's too easy and kind of weird and a little creepy, too.

Trust me. I get the convenience of it all. I really do. I love it for advertising my business and for notifications and posting pics and of course checking out everyone else's business (without them even knowing!) BUT I am starting to feel that maybe if I wasn't a part of it all, I would have more real contact with the people I really care about and who care about me. Emailing, texting and Facebook gives us a false sense of connection. The more we are connected, the more we are disconnected. How wonderful it was to see the beautiful and unique penmanship of the writer's of today's letters. What a treat to receive an actual photograph of my friend, Sandra (which I promptly stuck on my fridge door). What joy to open the envelopes to find a variety of paper.....cream linen, $ store Japanese variety and paper adorned with butterflies, flowers and stickers :-)

The people who wrote the letters that I received today shared some interesting thoughts about this whole letter writing experience:

• Thank you for this outlet....it feels good to try and think with a pen.
• Your blog has been inspiring to say the least.
• I used to love receiving mail back in the day when emailing was non-existent
• Thank you for your letter. I was like the little boy on your blog when my letter arrived.
• I had to make an enormous decision~ what special place would I choose to read and enjoy my letter.

I like to tear open letters in the post office and sit on the steps or read as I walk home. This has resulted in close calls with other people walking and the odd car. Today, due to the rain, I had to be patient and wait until I got home. As soon as I had my shoes and jacket off, I sat down at the kitchen table and dove into my letters. I hope to provide this experience to my followers who respond to yesterday's post.

I have received a few emails from TLWR Blog followers with your addresses. Thank you!! You will receive a letter from me in the next few weeks. Please email me your snail mail address to keonjulie@hotmail.com so that I may complete the "45 Letters in 45 Days" Challenge which is technically the "46 Letters in 46 Days" Challenge now that I have another new follower :-)

Have a good weekend and be sure to write that letter to a soldier, a friend or your child or that love letter that is waiting to be written. The time is now. There's no such thing has a poorly written letter. Just write down your thoughts from your heart and that will be enough.

Letters of Gratitude

"You've been so kind and generous. I don't know how you keep on giving. For your kindness, I'm in debt to you. For your selflessness~ my admiration. For everything you've done, you know I'm bound~ I'm bound to thank you for it."

~ Natalie Merchant

I am a bit of a gratitude junkie. I never take a kind word, action, thought for granted. I really don't. I am very aware of these things. I make it a point to communicate my gratitude to the appropriate person. I also notice when people could have a choice to be kind and yet they choose to be jerks. I have recently decided to focus on the kind people.

When it comes to stationary, there's nothing like a neat little box of thank you cards. They're inexpensive and there's just enough space to write an effective message of gratitude. There are so many designs that you can usually find some that reflect who you are....whether you are the plain white with gold "With Gratitude" printed on the front or the pastel kittens rolling in a ball of yarn. Maybe you are more into glitter and glitz and folk art fish. Whatever your style, a thank you card can represent you and communicate to the receiver that they are valuable.

Let's be honest~ We are expected to do kind things out of the goodness of our hearts without expectation of anything in return. For the most part, I think those of us who have reached some level of healthy self-esteem and maturity certainly do those things from a selfless place. And even though we are not supposed to expect anything in return, it sure is nice when someone sends off a little card in the mail with a handwritten note inside expressing their gratefulness for the thoughtful gift or the kind deed or for something you had no idea would have such an impact.

As much as I like receiving thank you cards, I really like writing them and as I said above, I am overly aware of kind acts that people do especially when they really didn't have to. I recently got into the habit of making a point of writing a letter to store managers when I get exceptional service. As a seasoned worker in the tourist/retail sector, I get really annoyed when people behave as though assisting you was a huge favour they were doing for you. Never mind the fact that they're getting paid to assist me. I used to be like most people and complain to a manager when the service I received left a lot to be desired. I have changed my ways......now managers receiving letters from me will open an envelope of praise and gratitude. I hope that the employee can be assured that their good service does not go unnoticed.

There are so many opportunites every day to spread the joy of handing a thank you card or better yet, mailing a thank you card to someone who is deserving. I would say that one of the most treasured gifts I have received over the years are the thoughtful cards and letters written by my clients thanking me for my help in their most vulnerable of times......childbirth and new parenthood. The beauty of the thank you letter (of all letters for that matter) is that they can be re-read and can lift a tired soul that is having a rough day.

Since today's topic is gratitude, I want to thank those of you who have handwritten me a note or letter this week. Opening my mailbox and finding creative colours and stationary has made me giddy! Thank you for reading my blog and for taking part in The Letter Writing Revolution. I want to hear about the letters YOU are writing and receiving these days.

Send me a letter if YOU would like to receive some mail. I promise to write you back!

You can write to me at: Julie Keon, P.O Box 533, Cobden, ON, K0J 1K0

Hard-To-Write Letters

So far, I have been writing about the joys of letter writing. How wonderful it is to write, send and receive a letter that has been handwritten. But what about the letters that are really tough to write? The ones that involve those really hard emotions that our culture spends an awful lot of time avoiding and denying. Emotions like anger, grief, sadness, regret, resentment, etc.

I have, thankfully, had to write only a few of those letters. One very memorable one was to my dad's best friend, Al, who was dying from cancer. I was living in BC at the time and I was so sad that I wouldn't have the opportunity to visit with him and talk with him before the end came. Al was a part of our life growing up and brought into our household, many moments of laughter and hysterics. He was a character to say the least and I don't expect to ever meet another man like Al in this lifetime. Feeling frustrated and knowing that I might regret the fact that I wouldn't see Al one last time, I decided to sit down and write him a letter about how he had impacted my life and how much I was going to miss him. I know that his wife received the letter and read it to him at his bedside. I felt peaceful knowing that this farewell had been completed.

Now, probably the most popular of the "hard-to-write-letters" is the 'Dear John' letter which I haven't written any of as I despise using letter writing, texting or emailing for matters of the heart like break-ups. Come on, people, get a back bone and be considerate enough to break-up with someone face-to-face. The letter can come afterwards. I know my sister has written a lot of 'Dear John' letters but that's only because she is married to a man named John.

After the break-up or the divorce, there may be many emotions that haven't even surfaced or acknowledged. Perhaps, you have a strong need to tell your former love of the things you really appreciated about them and on the other hand, maybe you feel a need to really get some things off your chest. Maybe you need them to know that you HATED when they left their socks on the floor and how they chewed their food. Yes, maybe their naked bike riding on city streets at 2am was eccentric and interesting when you first met but maybe you just need to tell them that, well, the novelty wore off and that's just weird. There are alot of things we keep to ourselves for the sake of keeping the peace but if the divorce is final, I say write it all down in one mad rush and send it off. Phew....doesn't that feel better?

On the other hand, there are letters that need writing that usually involve some form of difficult and strong emotion like rage and grief but that don't necessarily need to be mailed. I facilitate a workshop for women who want to make peace with their difficult births and one of the suggestions is letter writing. Handwritten letters that express all of it.....their anger, their disappointment, their grief, their rage, their feelings of shame and degradation and embarrassment and so on. The most important thing is to get it all down on paper as though they are writing to the one who crossed them and then they burn it. Some letters don't have to be mailed.

And finally, the letters of grief......the letters that are written to someone who has passed on. Perhaps, you didn't get a chance to say all you needed to say because time ran out or the death was sudden. What do you do with all of these unspoken words and thoughts? You write them down in the form of a letter and while you write you assume that in some way, the decesased will be able to read it. The peace brought about by this process can be magnificently healing. You can write about the things you wished you had said or done while the person was alive. You can apologize for the things that you didn't get around to apologizing for and you can thank them for the things they might have done that changed your life in some way. Sometimes these letters are filled with sheer anger and if that's what you got, that's what you write.

There are no rules to these types of letters. The act of getting it out of your head and heart and onto paper is not only the first step but it might be the only step needed. I suggest that if letters are highly emotional, that you wait a couple of days before sending and perhaps re-read it and make sure that you have no regrets when you drop it in the box.

Oh, one last type that I just thought of............maybe you have had a falling out with someone and you haven't spoken in days,weeks or even years. So very hard to move past the stubborness and pick up the phone.....so much easier to send an email or a text. Take it from me, writing a letter will mean more and will be accepted more easily than a phone call as the one on the receiving end will have the opportunity to read it over and over before responding. And it is so much more personal than a text or an email. An email might insinuate that you really do want to make ammends but you're just too darn busy to do anything else but fire off an email. That likely won't get you the reaction you're hoping for.

If you see yourself in any of the situations above, think about the almightly letter and it's power in bringing closure, peace and healing to you (and maybe someone else) in difficult times.